The Glorification of Busy.

Stop it. The glorification of busy. And business. And being busy. And being a busy body.

As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I believe I am one to think "the grass is much greener." Do I even need to finish the cliche phrase or do you find yourself thinking the same exact thing as often as I do?

What I mean by this is that when I am bored or lack things to do, I feel useless, purposeless and unfulfilled. I crave that full-force business that leaves me feeling drained and accomplished at the end of the day. Then there's the reverse--when I am so busy that I hardly feel like I have my stuff together, I feel useless, purposeless and--you guessed it--unfulfilled.

It's like no matter what end of the spectrum I find myself at, I feel anxiety over the other end. Ironic, right? So that is what I am trying to stop. I am trying to stop the glorification of busy in my life because at the end of the day, I do not want to feel purposeful by how much I accomplished in my waking hours. I want to feel purposeful and fulfilled by the grace of Jesus and nothing else. It's a huge feat to work on this and I don't think it is something that will ever quite be "fixed." Because I know I absolutely need to look for the stillness of Jesus in my everyday life.

What am I doing about it? This looking for stillness? Trying to take note of and be joyful and at peace in little moments throughout the day. Normally, that's really easy for me to say and not actually do but this time, it's different. This year at school, I am on my own cooking for myself entirely for the first time in my life. And I know a lot of kids my age who just throw some lean cuisines in the microwave or pick up takeout and call it a night. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but for the past month, I have reminded myself what a joy it is to set aside half an hour to cook something for myself (and then I send a picture of whatever I cooked to my mom hoping she is as proud of me as I am...). Same goes for when I prepare my coffee in the morning. When I catch myself thinking how much more convenient and time-efficient it would be to stick a ready-made and packaged Keurig cup in the machine and "voila, a cup of lukewarm coffiee!" because I am just soooo busy, I choose to enjoy the process of preparing my coffee grinds and making my own personal cup of joe just for myself.

When I get out of class and I have to walk half an hour in the heat to my car or my house, I embrace the time I have to be outside that I truly can't spend doing anything else because I actually do have to walk there to get home.

I'm not the first one to think of or to say "watch out for the little moments in life," but I have been looking for them and making myself aware of little moments of joy in mine. When I recognize these moments and seek Jesus through them, I am full of joy and at peace. So hey, it works.